Well, this is the first sentence I have ever written as the first guest blogger of the Williamsburg Spelling Bee. We are about to start!! As Jen and Bobby have just pointed out, I could totally pretend that there are 50 people here for spelling, causing a thrilling fire hazard. Instead, I feel obliged to point out that this is the most intimate bee we've had in ages, 10 including me. Last time (2 weeks ago) we had 22 comptetitors. JEN IS TELLING EVERYONE THAT I AM LIVEBLOGGING! I feel so freaking famous. Right now, Bobby is languidly reviewing the rules for everyone, and warning us that we don't always get word origins. I'm taking this rule review moment as an opportunity to explain that I initially argued that I shouldn't spell since I'm providing live color commentary on the event -- wouldn't that be like a sportscaster getting on the field?-- but everyone encouraged me to spell anyway, since it's not like I have to pretend that I am offering objective reportage.
First up: Jonathan Lill, a returning champ with a magnetic Steve Buscemi style sex appeal. He is also a librarian - hott! Darn it, I missed Second Speller's name. He's a guy who is dressed for the beach in a light blue t-shirt, shorts, and brown flip-flops. Oops-- he just misspelled millennium. I hope I haven't just made the same mistake. Number three is an affable looking fellow whose name I missed again. I will start focusing harder on names. My apologies. Oh my! New dark horse contestant, because it is not yet the end of Round 1, a man named Michael standing in the back of the room has just added himself to the list. Michelle, who looks very serene and smart is the Number 4 speller. She has just correctly spelled "maintenance." Betsy is now up, Speller Number 5. If she had to be a character in a book she read as a youth, she would be Mathilda from the Roald Dahl book. Correct spelling, no outs. Speller number 6 is sporting a turquoise polo shirt. Darn it, he forgot the second "e" in "sergeant." Kimball is a returning winner, now putting on his plate (#7). OK, I don't think I can do any better, but I feel bound to acknowledge that my commentary so far sounds like DAMMIT IT'S MY TURN!! Hang on. I spelled "sacrilegious" correctly. Whew. Anyway, I wanted to say that so far my coverage is low-grade Tiger Beat prose (what they wear! Their particular style of appeal!). So, Kimball accidentally left out the first "h" in fahrenheit, and speller number 9 spelled something right, and was wearing a beige tank top and camo shorts, and I got a cherry Blow Pop on my way offstage. Round 1 is now complete, we are on break. I'll try to become a better person and reporter during our very brief break. My resolution for next round: Take note of everybody's names and words.